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Behavior Management?
Congrats on finding the secret QR code in the Fortune Teller! Read on to learn more about Behavior Management.
The Challenge with Behavior
You have campers who are disengaged, talking over you, or just not following directions. Your first instinct might be to raise your voice, get stern, or single someone out. There's a better way.
"Great educators create order while preserving joy. Effective behavior management comes from clarity, consistency, and connection."
At Thrive Point Studio, we teach that behavior management is a skill that can be learned and practiced. When staff struggle with behavior management, we assume people want to do their best. When they're not doing their best, there's a lack of skill or lack of supports. Our role is to scaffold and help them succeed. In fact, an effective behavior system is essential before the joys of camp can really happen.
But here's what we've learned: skills alone aren't enough. When behavior management depends entirely on individual staff figuring it out, you get inconsistency. Some kids get seen and supported. Others slip through the cracks. Your best staff burn out trying to be heroes for everyone.
That's why you need systems—clear structures that make good behavior management sustainable for everyone, not just your rockstars.
But Wait, What About Relationships?
You might be thinking: "I thought relationships were the best approach to behavior management. I just have good relationships with kids, and that works for me."
You're right. Relationships are foundational to managing unwanted behavior. When kids trust you, respect you, and feel seen by you, they're far more likely to follow your lead. Strong relationships make everything easier.
However, we know relationships take time and we can’t always wait for them, especially if you run a week-long day program:
What do you do two hours into program when you just met the kid? You haven't built that relationship yet. You still need to manage the group.
How do you make it work not just for 1 or 2 kids, but for the 15 that are in front of you at once? You can't have deep one-on-one relationships with everyone simultaneously in the moment.
Behavior management skills give you the tools to create order, safety, and engagement while you're building those relationships. They help you manage the group effectively so that every kid gets the chance to connect with you. Good behavior management and strong relationships work together. You need both.
You're Probably Not as Clear as You Think
Most misbehavior falls into three categories: Incompetence (they don't know what you want), Opportunistic Misbehavior (they're exploiting unclear expectations), and Defiance (the rarest type).
Here's the thing: adults are rarely as clear as they think they are. When we assume kids "know better," we often miss that we never actually taught them what we wanted. And when boundaries are fuzzy, kids will test them. It's rarely "just for attention."
The good news? When you get clearer about what you want and how you respond, most behavior problems disappear.
3 Types of System Blindness
Spatial Blindness
We see our part of the system but not the whole. We don't understand what others' worlds are like, so we create stories and stereotypes. We take things personally when we shouldn't.
Relational Blindness
Roles exist in relationship to each other. Leadership feels burdened, line staff feel oppressed, middle managers feel torn. None of them see their part in creating the tension, and the pattern continues.
Process Blindness
We don't see our organizations as whole entities struggling to survive in their environment. We miss how systems differentiate, how they create patterns, and how each role falls into predictable dances.
Does This Sound Familiar?
Barry Oshry's research reveals that humans in organizational systems fall into predictable roles and patterns:
Senior Leadership
Burdened by unmanageable complexity. Fighting fires when they should be shaping the future. They feel responsible for everything.
Middle Management
Torn and confused between conflicting demands from leadership and line staff. Isolated from each other when they should be coordinating processes.
Line Staff
Feel oppressed by distant and uncaring senior leadership. Their negative energy distracts them from putting creative energy into delivering great work.
Campers, Families, Other Departments
Feel done-to by nonresponsive systems. Their disgruntlement keeps them from being active partners in improving things.
When we fall into these roles, we explain problems in terms of personal character, motivation, and abilities.
The solution becomes: fire them, fix them, rotate them. This misses the deeper truth. The problem is system, especially if it keeps happening over and over again.
Questions to Consider:
What in the system is creating this confusion or conflict?
What predictable pattern are we falling into, and how do I contribute to it?
Am I seeing the whole picture, or just my part of it?
What does this situation look like from their perspective?
What structure or system needs to change?
How can we create role clarity without creating rigidity?
Ready to See Your System Clearly?
Thrive Point Studio offers "workshops and organizational consulting to help you move from blame to clarity.